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To ensure I got a new couch out of the deal, I stabbed multiple holes into the cushion. This happened a few months ago, but I still remember the embarrassment like it was this morning.

The guy fixed the frame, but said there was nothing he could do about lacerations on the sofa. I made a joke out of it, we became close, and then his wife and I found out about each other.

A couple of people nearby burst out laughing in agreement.

FML Today, a repairman came to fix my couch, which is under warranty because the frame had broken in multiple places.